Need Versus Want

So, it’s the end of January. If you made resolutions at the beginning of the month, have they stuck and turned into habits or have they been forgotten, pushed aside by items of a higher priority?

If your resolutions haven’t evolved into actions, don’t feel bad about it.

Yes, a new calendar year is an inspiring time to think about how this year can be different, yet it is only one time, just one opportunity to consider what you are doing now, how you are accomplishing it, and why you are exerting energy on it.

I don’t make resolutions. Instead, I think about what I want to do and what I need to do.

Want to do vs. need to do can be done on a tactical or strategic level.

Here’s how I do it on a tactical level. Every Monday I make a very short (no more than 5 items) list of what I want to do and what I need to do.

The want to do side includes the items I enjoy and are easier to accomplish. I tend to gravitate towards these actions. I’m good at these things, and they are fun to me.

The need to do side includes the items I do not enjoy and are harder to get done. I tend to avoid these actions. I may or may not be skilled in these areas. Sometimes they require more energy than I want to exert at the time, and they don’t seem fun.

I repeat the exercise monthly, quarterly, and yearly, focusing on the big picture for me and my team.

Many of us create resolutions around items we feel we need to do. I need to exercise. I need to be patient. I need to network. I need to be strategic.

For a need to shift to a want, you must identify the end results or benefits of the action as well as the consequences of failing to take it.

Once you spell out the reasons why you need to do something, it can become easier for you to take concrete steps towards action. And you can begin to see how the action helps you, how it affects you. And it begins to turn into a desire—a want—vs. a need.

This is a big leap for many leaders. It takes a good deal of EQ (emotional intelligence), specifically self awareness, to get to this point.

The next step can sometimes be just as difficult. I’d argue it is even more critical. It is moving from “I want to do this” to “I know how to accomplish this.”

This is where and when an executive coach is a perfect partner. I help leaders move from need to want to can do.

So, as you consider what’s on your agenda for the first quarter of 2012, break down your list and first distinguish between I need to and I want to.

Then, as you review your desires in a conscious manner, solicit help from your leader, Human Resources/Training, mentors, advisors, or an executive coach so you reach the state of can do.

 

© Leila Bulling Towne  2012

Two Things To Remember About Accountability

Accountability is rarely far from my mind when I am coaching leaders. Often times the topic appears as elusive and desirable as the Holy Grail: “If we could just figure out how to hold people accountable, we’d get so much done.”

Accountability is not the solution, yet effective leaders do need to define and demonstrate it to their team members. Keeping it near the top of the to do list is hard, of course.

Fortunately (or not?), news about leaders who have failed to hold themselves accountable surrounds us most weeks. For those of us in the United States, the most recent example is Joe Paterno, the newly fired Penn State football coach, who learned that one of his assistant coaches was molesting a child and passed on the information—and did nothing else.

Joe’s failure to hold himself and a direct report answerable is an example of how dramatic and destructive disregarding accountability can be.

Paterno’s mistakes remind us of two best practices.

1. Timing matters. Move fast when correcting (and praising).

If you observe a behavior that needs to be changed, give feedback—soon. The same applies when you want to recognize productive conduct. Act on it before the context is lost and while you can remember details.

If you find that you’ve waited and the memory is faded, choose to still coach the employee, and come clean that you should have spoken earlier. “I should have given you this feedback earlier, after I observed this behavior. I apologize. In the future, I will share my thoughts more promptly, allowing us to work together towards changes.”

2. Delegating doesn’t mean you’re done.

Passing on a task to someone else doesn’t mean you are done with your part. When you delegate, when you hand off a task or information, you and the team member must discuss how you will check in. Not if you will do so.

If the team member has deep experience with you and the organization, the two of you may decide that you will routinely allow the person to carry through alone and only circle back at the end. You check in less frequently with a senior member of your team vs. a less experienced or less tenured member, yet you still check in, especially if the situation is a delicate or controversial one.

I don’t feel a leader demonstrates less faith in an individual when he checks in. I see it as demonstrating support and, in the words of The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes and Posner, modeling the way.

The buck does stop with you.

A final thought for leaders: make yourself ultra available. Tell your team members—not once but once a week—to come find you when they need you. If you are ultra available, they will be more likely to try to get to you when they need to.

“When you need me, find me.” “Email, call me, text me.” “Swing by my desk.” “What help can I provide? What do you need from me?”

And when you get calls from team members, thank them: “Thank you for calling and checking in.” Dan Pink wrote a recent blog entry with an example of ultra availability. That is modeling the way.

 

© Leila Bulling Towne  2011

Social Media Best Practices for Managers

I realize I’m probably not in the majority with my recommendation that managers limit their social media activities. Here are a few quick tips right now:

1.  I want you to be friendly with your employees—not friends with them.

2.  You can tweet about your job if it will help your organization reach its goals . . . complaining, bad mouthing other people, disparaging clients, etc. should be done at home and offline.

3.  You can post pictures on Facebook as long as you realize that your manager or another superior probably will see them, too, and sooner than you think.

Check out this video for more information on social media best practices for managers:

Tips for Leaders from the Back to School Groove

As I bought back to school supplies, had uniforms nice and clean for the first day, and attended back to school  night, some thoughts came to mind on how going back to school provides leaders with three tips on renewing their approaches, especially as they return from vacation and get ready for the latter half of the year.

1. Review the rules.

At back to school night, I learned about the steps my children’s teachers take to enforce the school’s discipline process.

As a leader of people, you probably won’t experience success with a stoplight system of green for great days, yellow for breaking one rule, and red for breaking more than one rule. That works best for 2nd graders.

Yet you will get traction if you clearly explain what actions you will take when an employee is not at least meeting goals.

Some of the toughest situations I coach clients through is what to do with an employee who is struggling yet has never received consistent, honest feedback regarding his/her inadequate level of performance.

Don’t wait for your organization’s annual review period to establish what the rules for performance are. Your next 1:1 is your next opportunity to discuss which actions are meeting your expectations and which ones aren’t—and what the consequences are.

2. Be on time.

When children arrive late at school, they are tardy. Lessons start with or without them. And teachers keep track of tardiness and inform parents.

When you arrive late to a meeting, you are. . . what? Simply late?

I see varying degrees of consequence from my clients on how their organizations cope with back-to-back meeting culture. I hear how being late to meetings is “part of the company culture.” Wow, that’s a lame (yes, very ’80s of me) excuse.

Each person contributes to a culture. Last Friday I had a call with a client, and in setting up our next meeting, she first said “4 pm.” She then said, “Wait, can we do 4:05? I have a meeting before hand and it will go at least until 4.” Works for me!

Be on time. If it feels impossible, try it just once a day. See how it makes you feel. 

3. Be organized.

My children have new pens, markers, pencils, and color-coded folders. Green is the home folder, purple is spelling, etc.

Just a bit of organization goes a long way.

Create a space that works for you. Label hard and soft folders, place notes for separate projects into separate folders, and if you need to, figure out how to clear out that Inbox!

I love Levenger’s punching system: I can quickly insert notes, handouts, contracts, and place the history of a project into a sleek binder.

© Leila Bulling Towne & The Bulling Towne Group Inc.  2011

Building Trust With Your Employees

Leaders should make themselves vulnerable. Executive coach Leila Bulling Towne shows you how doing so will give employees new reasons to trust you.

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