Happy New Year Everyone,

Research keeps telling us that a person's mindset plays a big role in what he/she accomplishes. There's an excellent article in the January-February 2012 issue of Harvard Business Review on this topic.

As January is coming to a close and many of us are clinging to the hope of doing something different or new as a result of a New Year's resolution having a positive mindset is crucial.

Below I write about resolutions (I don't make them) and how to distinguish between what you need to do and what you want to do. That change in thinking can lead to a higher level of individual and team success and engagement. And it can also help you turn some paper resolutions into actions.

Please tell me what you think.

Kind regards from the San Francisco Bay Area,

Leila

1. How do you see us accomplishing this? Describe your role. What is my role?

2. How did you accomplish a similar project in the past? Whose insight were you missing?

3. How can I support this project? What help do you need from me? Are there individuals with whom I should meet, to socialize this?

4. Think of our team and the teams who would benefit from this project. Whom can you reach out to as you plan this?

5. Who is not participating in this right now? Who should be a part of this endeavor and isn't?

How To Apologize

No one likes to apologize because—big surprise—no likes to be wrong or make a mistake. But, saying sorry, especially as a leader, is necessary to build and foster trust. It's #15 on Marshall Goldsmith's list of the twenty habits that hold people back: refusing to express regret (check out What Got You Here Won't Get You There).

Here are some tips on how to apologize.

First, look at the person as you apologize. If you avoid eye contact when saying sorry, it deflates the value of the words.

Second, use the words “I’m sorry." Don’t beat around the bush or try to apologize in a roundabout way.

Finally, stop and listen. Allow the other person to speak. Don't interrupt and don’t play the blame game.

So, it's the end of January. If you made resolutions at the beginning of the month, have they stuck and turned into habits or have they been forgotten, pushed aside by items of a higher priority?

If your resolutions haven't evolved into actions, don't feel bad about it.

Yes, a new calendar year is an inspiring time to think about how this year can be different, yet it is only one time, just one opportunity to consider what you are doing now, how you are accomplishing it, and why you are exerting energy on it.

I don't make resolutions. Instead, I think about what I want to do and what I need to do.

Want to do vs. need to do can be done on a tactical or strategic level.

Here's how I do it on a tactical level. Every Monday I make a very short (no more than 5 items) list of what I want to do and what I need to do.

The want to do side includes the items I enjoy and are easier to accomplish. I tend to gravitate towards these actions. I'm good at these things, and they are fun to me.

The need to do side includes the items I do not enjoy and are harder to get done. I tend to avoid these actions. I may or may not be skilled in these areas. Sometimes they require more energy than I want to exert at the time, and they don't seem fun.

I repeat the exercise monthly, quarterly, and yearly, focusing on the big picture for me and my team.

Many of us create resolutions around items we feel we need to do. I need to exercise. I need to be patient. I need to network. I need to be strategic.

For a need to shift to a want, you must identify the end results or benefits of the action as well as the consequences of failing to take it.

Once you spell out the reasons why you need to do something, it can become easier for you to take concrete steps towards action. And you can begin to see how the action helps you, how it affects you. And it begins to turn into a desire—a want—vs. a need.

This is a big leap for many leaders. It takes a good deal of EQ (emotional intelligence), specifically self awareness, to get to this point.

The next step can sometimes be just as difficult. I'd argue it is even more critical. It is moving from "I want to do this" to "I know how to accomplish this."

This is where and when an executive coach is a perfect partner. I help leaders move from need to want to can do.

So, as you consider what's on your agenda for the first quarter of 2012, break down your list and first distinguish between I need to and I want to.

Then, as you review your desires in a conscious manner, solicit help from your leader, Human Resources/Training, mentors, advisors, or an executive coach so you reach the state of can do.

How to Train a Wild Elephant: And Other Adventures in Mindfulness is what I've been carrying around in my tote this week (Yes, I have a Kindle but still prefer to "hold" some books). Jan Chozen Bays does a wonderful job of describing what mindfulness is and offers extremely simple (and quick) exercises, ones anyone could incorporate into his/her life. Mindfulness is attainable, especially when you take tiny steps.

3 new videos have recently been posted on CBS MoneyWatch.com. Check them out and please let me know what questions you have:

Making the case for a raise

What managers needs to do during their first 100 days

How to assert authority